5 times Loki regretted knowing Thor
by missisjoker
Summary: And one time he didn't. Slight AU where Loki is Odin's sworn brother, not Thor's.


1.

Loki knows he is cursed the moment a pair of sky-blue eyes peer at him from under the blankets. The baby abruptly seizes wailing and freezes, mouth open in shock, pupils blown and traveling unfocused across Loki's face.

Odin lets out a sigh of relief.

"Finally. "

He scoops the brat in his arms and holds out to Loki.

"Thor, meet Loki, my sworn brother. Loki, meet my firstborn, Thor."

Loki stares at the kid and feeling of doom slowly fills him.

The child motionlessly stares back.

Odin suggestively wiggles the breathing bundle in Loki's face.

"Can you hold him for like five minutes? He's been crying the whole day and I'm so hungry my guts will soon eat themselves."

Loki leans away from the Odin's spawn and demonstratively clasps his hands behind his back.

"And where is your wife, if I may inquire?"

"Visiting her mother. Please? I've been on baby-duty since yesterday and Thor cries every time I put him down and I could swear he has lungs of a dragon! And I want to eat, I want to sleep, and I need to go to bathroom or I'll explode..."

"You seriously should have stopped at the sleep."

Loki eyes the tiny aesir suspiciously, but finally gives in to the pleading look of Odin's eyeball.

The the weight in his arms feels surprisingly good, and the god of Mischief smiles at Thor's toothless face, wondering if he was too fast to make conclusions and the baby isn't that bad after all...until a tiny fist curls its way into Loki's raven locks and pulls down in full force. Loki winces in pain, fighting back tears, and growls as baby giggles in sheer joy.

2.

The curtains shudder under the force of the storm and the chambers lit up as another lightning splits the sky.

Loki bends over his desk and looks again at the ancient scroll that he has been studying the whole evening, when a sudden gust of wind rushes through the room, blowing out the candles and sending old parchments flying on the floor.

Loki curses and darts to the door, shutting it with a loud bang.

"Damn, I thought I've closed it!"

The sorcerer sulks at the mess the draft made and lets out a tired sigh.

"Screw it, I'll finish tomorrow."

When cape and leather armor join the chaos under Loki's feet, the man slithers under the heavy blankets and fidgets deeper into the sheets, preparing for the sweet slumber to overcome him.

And then something hard butts into his back.

Loki lets out an undignified shriek and dashes out of the bed, instinctively reaching for the sword.

The blankets look still and peaceful, but his back is still humming from the impact.

So he carefully creeps forward, weapon ready in hand, and flings the sheets open.

He suspects many things- snails, sneaks, piglets, even small dragons- as a usual retribution for his light-hearted jokes, but a blond mop of hair attached to the body of Odin's firstborn is not on that list.

Thor mumbles incoherently in his sleep and curls into a tight ball.

Loki takes his time to overcome the surprise, then puts the sword down and gently shakes the toddler.

"Thor? Wake up! Thor, what are you doing here?"

The baby blues slowly open up and the boy's face splits into a smile.

"Loki, hi-iii..."

"Thor, why...no, Thor, wake up, why are you sleeping in my bed?"

"The storm...scary, don't want to sleep alone."

"Um, OK? But why didn't you go to your parents?"

"No, I can't, they've got a new baby now, Bold- her. It's a girl's name!"

Thor suddenly throws himself into Loki's arms and starts sobbing,

"Why don't they love me anymore? Why did they get him? He is so ugly, bold and wrinkled like my old grandma..and smells bad, and cries all the time!"

"No, silly Thor, they sure love you. And they will be very scared if they don't find you in your bed.

And you were wrinkly and smelly once too."

Thor stuck out his stubborn lower lip, "No, I was not!"

Loki sees his smile reflection in two eyes staring back at him, full of tears, and pets the boy's back.

"Now c'mon, I'll get you back to your chamber."

"But I..."

"No buts, it's late, and uncle Loki is dead tired, and Thor needs to get back to his crib before mama Frigga freaks out."

Loki scoops the wriggling mass into his hands and strolls out of the room.

Loki dreams of being strangled by an octopus.

It is rather weird, for he is always in control of his dreams and never has any nightmares, but as the grip of the tentacles grows stronger and it gets too hard to breathe, Loki forces himself to wake up .

When he looks down and sees a tiny fist grabbing his night shirt and a hand attached to it and a leg draped around his waist, everything comes into place.

He doesn't even care to find his shoes as he cocoons Thor in the blanket and rushes back to the child's room.

Once in there, Loki takes a liberty to ensure Thor won't bother him again and ties the troublemaker to the headboard with the bed sheet.

Gently, of course.

And no, it has nothing to do with revenge.

Loki double checks the locks on the door and goes back to bed, satisfied.

When another half an hour later a familiar weight presses against his side, Loki curses the skies and gets up, planning all sorts of terrible things he is going to do to Thor despite his delicate age, but stops in mid-movement.

Thor's light form is clinging to him as in despair, limbs entwined around Loki's midsection, and a wooden headboard lying discarded near the bed side, still tied to the toddler.

Loki contemplates over his choices for a second, then sighs, undoes the ties, cuddles Thor closer to himself and goes back too sleep.

3.

Loki sneaks into the palace under the cover of the night, trying to avoid the other Aesir as he makes his way to his chamber.

The journey has been rather tiring, and encounter with trolls didn't add up to the pleasant memories, so the Trickster just wants to throw his bags on the floor, take a bath and may be snatch something to eat...

But of course, the destiny isn't kind enough to grant him such a simple wish- he doesn't even get a chance to close the door when a loud "Loookiii!" echoes through the corridor and Thor slams into him, knocking him off his feet.

"Loki, why didn't you tell me you were coming back?"

"How could I tell you that if I wasn't back yet?"

Thor ignores the question and continued to bounce.

"Tell me, tell me of your adventures! And show me! Hoi, did you bring me a present? I know you did!"

Loki pushes Thor's face away from his, annoyed with boy's lack of manners.

Like a over energetic puppy, he is.

"And why I would bring you a present?"

Thor's face falls in instant

"But I thought..."

Loki rolls his eyes.

"Fine, I confess. C'mere."

He reaches out into his bag and extracts a hammer of the finest work, wrapped into a patch of ragged cloth.

"Here, take it. I got it from the best elven blacksmiths in all Nine realms. It's called Mjolnir and it will be your truest companion on a battlefield should you accept it."

Boy's eyes shine with excitement as he gazes upon the weapon. A second later

Loki suffers a bone-crushing hug and sinks back to the floor, as Thor climbs down him, reaches for the hammer and starts waving it around.

"Hey, be careful, it is not an ordinary hammer, it's..."

Loki doesn't get a chance to finish, as with another wide swing of Thor's arm Mjolnir lets out a bolt of lightning that hits the door and shatters it into flinders with earsplitting bang.

"Whoa! Did you see that?" Thor spins around the Trickster as a whirlwind.

"Loki, did you just see that? I summoned the lightning! Yeeees!"

Thor dashes out of the room and charges through the hall, his deafening battle cry echoing from the walls, "Tremble before the mighty Thor, the God of thunder!"

Loki buries his face into his palms, trying to fight back the growing migraine. "I should have sold him to the dwarfs when I had a chance..."

4.

"Loki, Loki, where are you?"

Loki maneuvers himself back into the leaves, trying not to make a sound and hoping the lush green crown of the tree he is sitting on will conceal him from Thor's eyes.

It doesn't.

Thor notices him the second his foot steps onto the garden's square.

"Loki, Loki, come down, I need to talk to you!"

"Go away, I'm trying to concentrate."

"But I need to tell you something."

"Really?"

Loki channels all his annoyance into his brows and lips, thinking that may be a stern look on his face will make Thor disappear.

But as always, Loki's gentle hints have the same effect on the Thunderer as a mosquito bites on an elephant.

Thor runs closer and cranes his neck.

"Father told me I will have to find myself a betrothed once I'm old enough."

"And I should be interested in that why exactly?"

"What do you mean, why? Because you are my betrothed."

Loki loses interest in book in his hands.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Well, I was thinking , why would I look further if I already have you?"

"I'm afraid your logic on the matter escapes me, my Lord. Care to elaborate?"

"Father said my partner should be someone I trust and can share the throne with and he should be smart and kind and strong...And you are very smart, you are even smarter then me! You speak so well and use long words that I sometimes don't understand, you read books and know magic too, and you are brave and strong as warrior..."

"Indeed, but that is not the reason for me to be your betrothed."

"Why? I don't want somebody else."

Loki starts to lose patience.

"Thor, you half-wit, you're supposed to share the throne with a woman!"

" Father didn't say I needed a girl! Why would I betroth a girl? They are weird and weak and cry all the time and I can't hit them if they misbehave because mother said I mustn't. And they can't even hold a sword, so what use they are for me?"

"Well, Sif can."

"Sif is a girl?"

Loki rises his voice.

"Thor, you spawn of a goat, you need a betrothed that can give you a heir that will take your place once you grow old, and I can not do that!"

"But you've produced a son for a horse..."

"OK, that is it."

As Loki drops the book to the ground and stares at Thor in righteous anger, the boy knows he is in trouble.

He dashes away from the tree and laughs as Loki chases him through the garden.

5.

It is still a break of dawn and Loki isn't even fully awake yet, when a loud bellowing from outside catches his attention.

He first thinks of a hungry cat, or may be a goat. Or even a bull, judging by the lush low tone of it, but as he wishes goodbyes to his last morning dream, Loki recognizes the words in the noise, and then to his horror, his name.

It is Thor, properly groomed, dressed in full armor, red cape flattering in the wind, sheepish grin on the face and a lyre in his arms.

"Loki, my dearest, you are a festive to my eyes!"

Then he strikes the strings again and Loki shivers in fear that they would tear from Thor's vigor.

And who even holds a gentle instrument like that?

The serenade fills the air and Loki throws his hands to cover his ears, noting to himself that next time he needs to torture a giant he will just ask Thor to sing.

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Aye! My mind is yours, my beloved Loki, as is my heart!"

Thor opens his mouth again but Loki shouts first, "Stop it! Seize it immediately!"

Thor's face darkens and he lowers the lyre.

"Have I offended you, the light of my life? You didn't like that song I devoted to you?"

"Oh, I loved it!" Loki curses himself as Thor grins widely, clearly unaware of Loki's sarcasm.

"Now get up here so I could kill you!"

Thor's attention is ...well, it is flattering, but Loki's tender ears won't stand for such atrocity again.

So, after a heated conversation Loki manages to convince his wooer to use more...discrete methods. To spare Loki's artistic taste. And Thor's reputation.

Next morning Loki discovers a pile of rose petals on his doorsteps and thinks that may be Thor's courtship is kinda...nice after all.

The morning after he finds a freshly killed boar in his room revokes his decision.

1.

The Great Hall shines with gold and sunlight as guests and guards fill it for the ceremony.

Thor and Loki watch from the balcony as Thor's younger brother accepts congratulations, for he is to be appointed as a heir and future king of Asgard. Odin never explained his decision and Thor didn't press the matter - he knew his father was old and wise and had his reasons for doing so.

Thor's hand rests on Loki's waist and he nuzzles the slender man's hair with barely hidden passion.

Loki caresses his cheek and sighs.

"I envy you, my dear Thor. You should be up there right now, you should be crowned today, not Balder. You are first born, it is your right by birth. And yet you are so calm, no sign of disappointment."

Thor shakes his head dismissively and tugs Loki closer,

"I don't care, I have all I need right here, in my arms."

Loki plants a swift kiss on Thor's lips and shrugs,

"I still find it outrageously unfair."

"Well, my love, I'm only sorry that I promised to give you throne and failed. But, "  
Thor grins mischievously and Loki wonders if Thor had picked it up from him,

"I can at least give you the crown."

Thor unwraps his cape and reveals his other hand holding tightly the Diadem of the King.

Loki throws his head back and laughs as Thor proceeds to suck on his neck.

Meanwhile the honored guests wait patiently as Odin embarrassingly searches the Great Hall for the crown he is supposed to put on his younger son's head.


End file.
